Monday, December 3, 2012

looking back stings sometimes

This is pretty darn personal, but I believe you should share the personal things sometimes, too. I was going through old videos and found this one of my Jax at 8 months old on Halloween. It made me smile and laugh to watch it. I thought how strange it is that although it was only 6 years ago, it feels like a lifetime ago. 
So many things have happened since then. I told my husband to go look at the cute video I posted. I guess you never know when things are going to "hit", do you. 
He couldn't finish the whole video. He had to turn it off, and he cried. Then it hit me, too. 
Jax was a very "normal", happy baby. ALWAYS happy. Content. Always trying to make us laugh. I miss that baby sometimes. I love my Jax for who he is with every fiber of my being. I just...miss the normality sometimes. I miss how care-free we were back then. Man, we had NO idea what was coming. My other kids didn't "change" at 2 years old. Why did he? I didn't really get to experience the toddler years with Jax because he was in his own little world much of the time. I want that time back that I missed out on. But I can't have it back. I have to wipe away the tears and move on, but it's hard to do sometimes.

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