Pick Your Battles!

When you are a parent of a child with Autism, you learn very quickly to pick your battles. Some things are worth fighting for and some are not. Take this box for example...

What is now a wet, soggy, ruined box used to be a cute little photo box. I quite liked it. Jax has now become very attached to said box. He takes it everywhere with him. He puts his current favorite toys in it too. See...

Well, he has decided he also HAS to take the box into the bath with him. Of course I said no. It's a cardboard box. It doesn't belong in the bath. Well, that didn't go over too well with Jax. He cries and cries and refuses to take a bath without his box. Since he is a very stubborn little thing and I am kind of opposed to him not bathing for weeks at a time, I gave in. This is how my cute box became wet and soggy. 


But guess what...it makes him soooo happy to have his box in the bath with him. He doesn't care that it's wet and soggy. He loves it! See...

And this is why I choose to pick my battles. The end. 

Thank Heaven For Good Days!

Thank heaven for good days. No, seriously. I get down on my knees and thank Heavenly Father for days like these. They can be few and far between at times. I cherish them. Like today, for example. Jax has been so happy, so interactive, engaging, he wants to learn. He has been so sweet with his little sister...playing with her, grabbing her and giving her hugs and kisses and saying how cute she is. Oh, it makes me so darn happy. Lately, Jax has been having a really tough time so it's especially nice to see him having such a good day. He had been hitting...a LOT. Since I'm with him the most, I have been his target. Lucky me. Ha! Well, today, he only hit once or twice when something didn't go his way. Surprisingly though, immediately after hitting me, he said, "sorry mom." I know he doesn't mean to hit. Sometimes he can't control himself. He has built up anger, energy, sensory overload, etc and he just doesn't know what else to do to release it all. I get it...so I'm trying to be patient. Whenever he hits, I ask him if he needs a hug. He says, "yes mom. Hugs." I give him a big, tight hug and he usually feels much better...for a while, anyway. 

This is what keeps me going on rough days...

This truly happy nose-scrunching smile of his.

We definitely have many rough moments and days...but his beautiful smile, laughter, hugs and kisses, cute personality...it all makes it worth it. 

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

Dear Daddy...

Thank you for being my Daddy. I know you were meant to be my Daddy. To love me unconditionally, find humor and joy in my quirks, protect me, comfort me when I'm sad, laugh with me when I'm silly, to fight for me... 

It feels so good to know you will always be there for me no matter what. As I'm growing up, I know you will always stick up for me. You will tell everyone how smart, funny and sweet I am. You will be proud of me. I know you will...just like you are now...

Thank you Daddy...for being my best friend. We have so much fun together...

Daddy, thank you for always believing in me. I know sometimes I'm not easy...but you are always positive with me and you know my potential. I know you will never give up on me. You know how great I am and how great I will become...

Thank you for letting me be myself...and for being happy about who I am.

I look up to you, Daddy. You are my Hero. I know with you standing by my side, ANYTHING is possible!

Thank you for being my Daddy. I love you.

Love, your cuddle bug, Jax.

Sometimes I hate Autism.

I adore my son. Sometimes I hate Autism. Why? I hate that it makes my son angry. I hate that it effects his ability to make friends. I hate the fact that he can't tell me how he is feeling. I hate that people stare when he's upset or making funny noises. I hate it when we are around typical 5 year old boys and I feel blindsided all over again. I hate that I have to worry about his future. I hate that my son can't just be a typical boy and have play dates, play sports with his dad, tell us about his day, tell us a joke, tell me what makes him happy, tell me if someone was rude to him, tell me he has a "girlfriend", explain to me why he is crying and upset. 

I love my son more than anything. Sometimes Autism just plain sucks!! 

I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, but this is how I feel today...

Jaxton's Last Day of Preschool!

Today was Jax's last day of preschool. I'm feeling a tad bit emotional about it. My baby boy will be in Kindergarten next August!! He will be in an Autism unit with kids K-2nd grade. So, it's different than regular Kindergarten...but my baby is still growing up; nonetheless. 

 We went to Jax's school today to watch a dvd his teachers put together of pictures throughout the year. It was so cute and sweet. They had so many adorable pictures of Jax. Each child was given an award which stated what the teachers love most about that child. Jax's award was "Best Comic Entertainer". It describes him perfectly. They call him Jim Carey in class. All of the teachers came up to Josh and I and were telling us how they can't help but be happy and laugh when Jax is around. One teacher said, "whenever I'm having a rough day, all I have to do is come to class and Jax makes me happy and makes me laugh."  I love hearing that. 

Watching Jax's teachers with him today makes me even more sad that he will be moving on to a new class. You can just see how much they love and adore him. They were hugging him and telling us how much they love and will miss him. I have to say...it would be dang hard not to fall in love with this boy!! 

 

We will miss his teachers SO much but I am looking forward to next year. A new school year means more progress and that is exciting. 

Autism Siblings

I want to talk a little bit about the siblings of Autistic children. I often wonder how my oldest daughter feels about her brother. I wonder how much she realizes. I wonder if she ever feels like we spend more time with her brother. I don't want her to ever feel like she is being put on the back burner. So, to make sure that doesn't happen, we do several things.

First, we take our daughter on dates. We want her to always know and feel that she is special. My husband or I will take turns going to dinner and a movie with her. She loves this. This past Friday night, I took her to Soul Surfer. It was the perfect movie for her to see. While watching it she kept making comments like, "mom, if we do our best and never give up, anything is possible!" I'm so proud of my little girl. She is growing up so fast. As she gets older, it is so much fun to hang out with her. We love our dates.

We talk to our oldest daughter about how special she is. We remind her that she was our very first baby and how first babies are sooo special. Every night, I like to go into her bedroom and remind her why she is so special. I tell her how sweet, kind, smart, funny and beautiful she is. She usually adds, "I know mom. I'm amazing." She really is amazing and I'm glad she knows it.

Another thing I think is important is to educate the siblings. We've talked to our oldest daughter quite a bit about Autism. We explain to her what it is, what it means. We let her ask any questions she may have. I think this really helps her to better understand her brother. It also gives us a chance to talk about it as a family, which is nice.

Our other children are just 2 years old and 5 months old, so they are too young to get it...but our 2 year old loves playing with her big brother. She looks up to him. They laugh together, chase eachother, talk to eachother. They are buddies. I pray that friendship and love they have for eachother will continue as they grow.

The IPAD and Autism

We've read about how awesome the ipad is for kids/people with Autism. It can be used as a communication device, a learning tool, and so much more. We bought one for Jax and we are so excited to see how it can help him. We bought this app to help Jax to communicate and increase his vocabulary. It's supposed to be an excellent tool for kids with Autism. We are excited about it! I will have to keep you all updated and let you know how it's going.

Temple Grandin

Have you seen the Temple Grandin movie? If you haven't, you MUST see it! Claire Danes stars in it and it is a phenomenal movie. It won 7 emmy awards! Josh and I watched it together and we cried and laughed throughout the entire thing. It's funny, it's sad at times, it's real. You get the opportunity to really see what it's like being a person with Autism. Dr. Temple Grandin is a world-famous animal scientist and autism self-advocate. She has written many books and teaches seminars about Autism all over the world. Temple didn't begin speaking until she was 3 and a half years old. She is incredibly intelligent. It is such an amazing thing for parents like us to be able to hear and learn so much from someone who has lived with Autism. To learn more about her, visit her website here!

Sensory Processing Disorder

A large percentage of children with Autism also have Sensory Processing Disorder. Jax does have SPD as well. Here is a list of symptoms of SPD. Jax has every single symptom on this list. This is why learning, attending to activities, being in loud environments, etc are difficult for him. Reading this list, you can see why!                                                  


•        Over sensitivity to touch, movement, sights, or sounds
•        Under reactivity to touch, movement, sights, or sounds
•        Specific learning difficulties /delays in academic achievement
•        Difficulty in making transitions from one situation to another
•        Tendency to be easily distracted / Limited attention control
•        Activity level that is unusually high or unusually low
•        Social and/or emotional problems
•        Difficulty learning new movements
•        Delays in speech, language, or motor skills
•        Physical clumsiness or apparent carelessness
•        Impulsive, lacking in self-control     
•        Inability to unwind or calm self
•        Poor self concept / body awareness

Autism rates may be higher than thought...

In a recent South Korea study, researchers have found that 1 in every 38 children are on the Autism Spectrum...and we thought 1 in 110 was huge! Because of the study being much more accurate than the studies done in the U.S., they believe the number of kids on the spectrum could be just as high, if not higher, in the U.S. We need to be doing much more comprehensive studies here. There has been such an incredibly high increase in Autism over the past few years and we need to find out why!! 

Here is the study that was done in South Korea.